Tag Archives: red hot chili peppers

Turn your ‘Playlists’ to ‘Yay-lists’

Humans are social beings. Evolutionarily speaking, we have moved towards living in larger and larger communities.  People with large social networks have power and influence.  People who have no mates are dubbed ‘Nigel No-Mates’, and other people assume that they’ll live at home with their parents well into their forties and they’ll even go as far as to speculate that there’s ‘something going on’ between them and their sister. In many respects this is why popular music has become so important to our lives; it is the soundtrack to our socialising. Ever since our Neanderthal ancestors first said “Hey, this party is a bit quiet, let’s put this Leo Sayer record on” a good soundtrack has been part of every major social life event; be it a ‘party’, ‘wedding’ or ‘community meeting to decide what to do about the large number of immigrants moving into the area’. What people want though, as well as music, is variation. No … Read more

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Why the fuck do people like Mumford and Sons so much?

Mumford and Sons are average as shit. I mean, honestly, I’m not even sure if their name is supposed to be spelt with an ampersand or the word “and”, because when visiting their Wikipedia page to find out, I actually fell asleep before I was able to read anything. It’s not that Mumford and Sons are the worst band in the world (that spot is still reserved for the Red Hot Chili Peppers and their knuckle-dragging legions – God bless ’em, it’s important to know there’s a floor on these things), but why do so many people love them when there are so many bands out there writing better music? The people that like Mumford and Sons are the same people that made bands like Snow Patrol, Jack Johnson and Coldplay famous – basically people who like their sleep therapy put to music. Someone coming up to you and telling … Read more

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The thought of a new Red Hot Chili Peppers album makes me weep for humanity

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are the worst. I mean the absolute worst. I’m not exaggerating. The fact that they are currently leading our Worst Albums Of All Time chart is absolutely no mistake. And now it’s that time again. Every three or four years the Chilis part cheeks and excrete forth another brown nugget of near identical tunes and the whole world goes completely nuts for it. As a huge music fan (or music snob, whatever you want to call me) you just can’t imagine what a depressing prospect this is for me. There is so much great music out there these days, and the idea that people would push all of it aside in favour of another slap bass induced 80s cock rock fest is just completely depressing. I mean can you really tell the difference between their last few singles? “Dani California”, “Scar Tissue”, “Californication”, “By The … Read more

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Worst Albums Of All Time: Red Hot Chili Peppers – “Californication”

I have to be honest – I’ve never liked the Red Hot Chili Peppers. They just always seemed so silly. Their socks-on-cocks, misogynistic frat-boy attitude never sat well with me, but I’m willing to forgive a lot if the songs are good enough. Unfortunately, as far as I’m concerned, they aren’t, and never have been. Song after song of mid-tempo, snore infused, slap bass twaddle (slap bass has never been cool, for the record) that has me reaching for the cyanide capsule every time. They should tour with Ben Harper and Jack Johnson (watch this space, I’m sure) as the “Sure Fire Insomnia Cure Tour”. They would make millions. Even their supposed “classic” album Blood Sugar Sex Magick does absolutely nothing for me. “‘Under the Bridge’ is deep. It’s about heroin addiction, man”. Are you sure it’s not about Mandrax? Because that’s how I feel when I listen to their … Read more

Posted in Rants, Reviews, Why are they famous?, Worst Albums | Tagged | 134 Comments